Children may not understand why their parents have to be away. All they know is that they are missing an important person in their lives, which can be hard to manage. Home may also feel different for them, with some changes in routines.

While deployments can be stressful, and you may need to seek additional help for your child, not every day will be difficult. However, extra tantrums and tears are common when children feel overwhelmed, and they may not be able to communicate to you how they are feeling. They may not have the resources they need to tell you, or they may be worried about upsetting you. Encouraging conversation and sharing feelings can help support your children. Don’t hide tears from your children; let them know you are missing your partner. This will encourage them to verbalise their feelings to you.

• Avoid reading or discussing news headlines in the presence of the children. They do not understand and will worry about their parents.
• Do encourage talking about feelings. Maybe set aside some time to share feelings, where everyone can focus and discuss their worries. Save the rest of the time for the fun stuff!
• Contact with the absent parent, where possible, is advised. Again, a time could be set aside, so your child knows when to talk to their parents. Encourage conversations about what they have been up to and are enjoying.
• Keep a box of things your child would like to share with their parents when they return home, such as photographs, something they have made, or their achievements.
• Maybe your child would like to keep a journal or diary that they could share if they want to.
• Many resources and books can help support you and your children. There are many websites. However, although based in Scotland, the Forces Education website has a long list of helpful books in its Resources section that can be purchased from Amazon, including ones for deployed parents.

 

As always, it is vital to ensure you look after yourself! Remember, sharing your feelings, asking for help, and relying on friends and family if they are close by is okay. Having parented my own two young children through several deployments, including one of nine-month duration, and many school staff having military spouses and connections, we recognise the challenges you could be facing.

We are always in school to support you, so please do not hesitate to contact us or fill in our Service families deployment and information form.